Moving
by Veridia
Summary: Summary: Sasuke left Naruto behind him. What he couldn’t leave behind was his love for him. NaruSasu Day fiction.


NaruSasu Day celebration Fiction

Moving

Naruto Sasuke fiction

Summary: Sasuke left Naruto behind him. What he couldn't leave behind was his love for him.

(A/N: I end this fic differently: With Itachi remaining alive and Madara constructing the Juubi. WARNINGS: The time line MAY not be chronological. Or real, for that matter.)

*---*

Sometimes, giving up does not mean you are weak. It means you are strong enough to let go.

- _Anonymous _

*---*

_Screams. Fire. Fights. Chakra vibrations. Sounds of feet running, the howl of winds. The voice of the creaking trees. The sandals hitting the tree bark. A shout. Punches, insults. The twittering sound of Chidori. The whirl as winds form around the Rasengan. His hand plunging into Naruto's chest._

Sasuke wakes up from another dream- a reflection of the memory of the Valley of the End. The figment drives him to his knees, in grief. He wishes that there, then, Naruto had understood. Had let him go on in his quest to exact revenge from the one person who choked out the life of all his clan members. He wishes that he never had to hurt Naruto like this.

But there was no other way. Itachi was-and still is, more powerful than him. He doesn't deny that coming to Orochimaru made him stronger, gave him the kind of strength that could not have been gained had he stayed in Konoha. It was a bitter realization, but one that he is willing to accept-the truth is the truth.

He shivers as he draws his feet out of the covers; he might have left Konoha, its citizens, its environment, its life, but he hasn't moved on. There is still a tie connecting him to the city he dearly wishes to forget - Naruto. A tie he is most unwilling to break.

Sasuke concedes that he loves Naruto and he always will. It is an easy reality to accept. There can be no questions on this matter, nor can he supply any answers. Naruto made his way into his heart, and stayed there. But neither love nor Naruto rank higher than his goal. Itachi must be annihilated.

Sometimes, it passes his head briefly that bringing Itachi to death will never resurrect any of his clan members. It is one of the only times when his mind decides to focus on the bigger picture. It is one of the only times revenge does not dominate him, or his soul. But he never dwells on the topic; no matter how logical it may be. He swore to himself that his clan would be avenged and Itachi would be killed. There can be no arguments on this fact. He chops down the last bit of his sanity, and allows himself to fall as deep as he can in the darkness.

He passes his table by as he walks to the bathroom, and glances at the rising sun. The rays hit the only photoframe that is left standing- the one Sasuke had of team seven. It is his only remembrance of home, of love, and of Naruto. He has no other pictures.

Sasuke is tired of telling him to get a grip, move on over Naruto. He does know that it is not possible. He has had enough of living in denial. But, that does not mean that Sasuke is willing to admit it publically. He never was, he never will.

Sasuke knows this quest is dangerous. There is too much grief, too much loss. He has been forced to let go the only person he has cared for beyond his family, beyond Itachi. Sometimes he looks up at the sky, and longs- longs for Naruto to come and take the pain away. Then, he shakes his head and reinforces his will. He has no time to be weak.

*---*

Sasuke would never refer to Naruto as the sun. He is not. Naruto is by no means the sun, just as he is by no means dark. His choices may be dangerous and destructive, but he is not darkness. There is no such thing as darkness and light. He knows, just as they all know – Naruto is simply a young man, trying to make sense of his surroundings, and following his basic instincts of behaving. He doesn't have a wish to become someone's light, when he can't guide his own.

He knows what made Naruto appealing to him wasn't the fact that he was bright or sprightly. It was the similarity in situation. Of all the people in Konoha, Naruto was the only one fit to understand him, because he had gone through the same circumstances as he did, and he was at the right age to make an impact on Sasuke. There was a reason after all to assign them into the same team.

He knows humans are weak. Even as shinobi, this was a basic fact, no matter how much they wish to hide, or how many times Orochimaru changes bodies to show that, he is invincible and not weak. It is human nature, and all shinobi are human. He knows he isn't infallible either.

It maybe a rationalization of his thoughts, of why he needs Naruto close. It may be anything, but overall, it is still factual. Undeniable. Sasuke needs Naruto-Sasuke loves Naruto. There is no justification. Anyone who looks closely will understand.

The Valley of the End…is a place of bitter memories for him. Sasuke fails to realize why Naruto couldn't understand his agony. He has looked up to the understanding blond boy for months. He had thought that he would comprehend. Sympathise. Let him go. There are a million dreams he has to complete. He wasn't leaving the village forever; there was a plan that one day he could return. Then Naruto made him depart. It was one of the only instances when he has truly hated Naruto.

He had never realised that his love could be so selfish- that he would hold keeping Sasuke in Konoha for his sake more than Sasuke's own happiness. All for the sake of that blustery, annoying pink girl. It hurts him at some primordial level, but Sasuke refuses to acknowledge that. He can put this memory behind him. The Valley of the End is over. He cannot go home, so there is no point is harbouring grudges, because even if Naruto had not interrupted, Sasuke would have been barred from the land whose ground he had once played on.

He doesn't care.

*--*

Looking down from the top of Orochimaru's lair at the team that has come to 'rescue' him back to Konoha, Sasuke isn't sure whether he is overwhelmed with gratitude or overcome with rage.

It is good, in some ways gratifying to find out that he is still welcome back home, that someone is still willing to accept him as someone they know, care for. But the rage is there-how could they do so when his quest is not complete. Itachi is still alive. That reality is enough to make him refuse that offer.

Bonds- he has no need of them now. He severed them himself, partly out of love, partly out of selfishness. He does not wish to have them trailing with him on his mission as an avenger, because having them around would give Itachi the advantage to manipulate him. His brother is a coercive, twisted man. No trust can truly be placed in him- that he would not kill innocent people. Not after he exterminated his entire clan, of which all members were guiltless.

Nor does he want them to mourn for his death. There is a distinct possibility that he may die. Itachi may kill him or both may die. He doesn't want anyone to shed a tear for him, especially Naruto, because he doesn't deserve them. He has never done anything to merit a tear from anyone- he has never let anyone close, or went close to anyone. Some part of him, hidden deep inside still doesn't want anyone to hurt. He chuckles at the irony.

He spouts out lies. He watches them hurt Naruto, and hurt him. Some innate part of his being rebels at the thought, but he pushes it down. He needs to convince Naruto. He needs to make them leave, forcibly, if necessary. He has no choice.

*---*

The Akatsuki. He has heard Orochimaru refer to them, many times. He has always done so with hatred and fear, which makes him guess that they are a group with powers far greater than Orochimaru's own. Silently, he is impressed.

His own spy network has told him many things, and one of them includes their objectives. He knows Itachi is a part of this deadly organization. In some moments of appreciation, he admits that the Akatsuki is the perfect place for his brother- he deserves to be there. He is that powerful.

He now knows why Itachi is behind Naruto. It irks him, because his blond friend is not someone's military weapon. That pacifistic, caring boy cannot be used for such destructive purposes. It makes him heated.

He has no wish to let Naruto slip into the hands of such murderous people. Their touch is tainted with the essence of blood, something that a person like Naruto, who has never hurt someone in his lifetime, should be subjected to. He plans to make sure that it does not happen.

He might not have stayed in Konoha, but the distance has made him understand Naruto's impact on him. The depth of his ideals, even though he had scoffed at them when young. Sasuke knows that his disregard for them was because, they were logical and irresistible thoughts, but they were not for him. They never were.

It's hard, though, that Sasuke Uchiha misses Naruto Uzumaki. He has never had the nerve to admit this, nor does he plan to do so anytime in the future. It would only go to show that he has spent all his time mooning over the blond brat instead of paying attention to his vengeance. It is his weakness. He may be ineffectual, but nothing-on earth, not even Naruto will make him accept or realize that. He has to keep trying, keep track.

He picks up the picture of _his _team, yes, his. It is all that a mere boy of 13, his brother, left him with- after the massacre of the all-powerful Uchiha clan. It is the closest he has had to friends, family and home. But he has no regrets on leaving them behind- his vengeance must always rank first. Nothing else can be chosen. So having them around is not permissible. But, he allows himself on moment of plain, unrequited affection. His heart bleeds just a little bit. He traces Naruto's face in the picture, murmuring, "Keep yourself safe, dobe. If not for me, then for the rest of those who love you."

*---*

Deidara blows himself up in front of him "Artistically" as he puts it. Sasuke cannot bring himself to feel anything apart from disgust. It is a total waste of a life that might have been used in a more productive manner. But as always, anyone belonging to the Akatsuki never uses his or her brains anyway.

To Sasuke, from what he has gathered of Naruto's progress and Itachi's own inherent talent, it seems to him that Naruto has slowly, but steadily gotten on par with them. He might be as powerful as Itachi is now, and might just kill him for threatening his life. For some moments, he is irrefutably proud.

It makes him happy, to see that Naruto is finally managing to fulfil his goals in life. He has gotten so much closer to becoming hokage, and getting everyone's affection and love. No more is he hated or sidelined, but acknowledged as a full member of Konoha. He doesn't need Sasuke's appreciation any more. It's not necessary, now that he has what he wants.

The fact stings.

*---*

Life with Orochimaru isn't as easy or casual as he likes to portray. The man is a leering, lascivious , snake charmer, who wishes to silently make his way into his Sharingan. He does his best to resist all of his advances, utterly grateful to the Sharingan that the man wants, the cursed Sharingan that saves his life by allowing him to discern all his moves.

Once, life with this man was a challenge. He was willing to learn, and Orochimaru, willing to teach, for whatever objectives of his own. It is not so anymore. Time has waned by and he has finished learning major portions of his jutsu, and more. His respect, little though it was at first is continuously on the decline. He remembers well that the only reason he still stands the necrophilic coercive bastard is power. Power that he was promised that he would achieve. He knows Orochimaru has no desire to help him. He is simply hell-bent on attaining the Sharingan. There is no intent in his mind…to destroy Itachi.

Disposal of this man is important, and eminent. He has outlived his usefulness.

Clearance is what he does. He knows the snake cannot overpower him with his weak body or mind, and it is easy for him to ascend to the second level of his seal and cut him to pieces with a well designed chakra blade. He has been working when Orochimaru considered that all Sasuke knew was what he got from him. The student can best his teacher.

He has seen little things more disgusting than his real form, no matter how repulsive his jutsu or his transitional snake forms could be. The snake, composed of all white scales, still makes his skin crawl in revulsion. He can find nothing in his heart but antipathy at how low a genius can fall. There is no need to have such weakness in his body. He discards Orochimaru's mind hold over him and leaves the body to rot. He knows that no tears shall be shed for him, not even from Kabuto.

He leaves knowing, had Naruto come to be acquainted with this- he would have been proud.

*---*

There are instances when Sasuke hates the Hebi. Or more specifically, the people in it.

He knows that he needs Karin to track Itachi's chakra, or he would have thrown this girl away the moment he saw her. She is strangely reminiscent of Ino and Sakura's fangirl days. It makes him pale.

It has been nearly 5 years of separation from Konoha, and Naruto. Yet, Sasuke cannot bring himself to forget them. Love is one thing. Obsession is another. It makes him ill inside to see how much he still holds on to those memories. He doesn't know why.

Home isn't something that holds any special significance over him anymore. He has started to believe in the feeling – "I have no home." He knows that it no longer exists for him. he isn't sure whether he still has one.

These memories give him a sense of belonging, as if once, he was a part of someone's world. It has been so long since he last felt that he believes them to be fake, ethereal. Even if it does exist, he cannot go there. His heart is sullied and his mind has waned. There is blood on his hands; he is a murderer. He knows he will never find acceptance. The fact makes him want to do both-laugh and cry. The tears are bitter.

He doesn't need acceptance to go on. He doesn't need anything to go on. He doesn't need the memories to remind him, that the time he shared with Naruto is real. He doesn't need Naruto chasing after him to prove that. He is willing to delude himself into believing that he has never loved Naruto, and all this is a twisted reflection of the warped darkness within his mind. He is willing to believe that someone like Naruto does not exist.

There is no such person as Naruto. there never was such a person in his world. His world is alone. Yes, Naruto does not subsist.

Deep down, Sasuke's heart can feel the lie. It hurts. But he is not sure whether he still has a heart left anymore.

*---*

He finds Itachi. Days, nights, weeks, months, years of cumulative effort has finally culminated to him reaching his goal. He is finally able to touch it.

But before he can attempt anything, a tremor rocks the mountain wall. There is a roar from below. It has begun.

Madara's mooneye plan has begun.

For months, he has chased the Jinchuuruki, collecting them secretly, claiming the purpose to be an organization of war. Now, he finally shed light on his true purpose – reconstructing the Juubi and bringing it back to life. He is finally going to foil the plans of the father of the Ninja, the first Jinchuuruki, of the Juubi who killed himself to protect the world from this celestial beast of chakra, and became the moon. Madara is going to harness the power for himself and make himself the most powerful person alive.

Sasuke knows, for all his speeches of regaining glory, Madara is nothing but a megalomaniac. There is nothing but the prospect of power roaming in his head, and he is willing to kill all who oppose him in this plan. He is not reluctant to shed the blood of innocents either.

He bitterly regrets helping him in gaining the Hachibi, and understands why Itachi delayed catching the Kyuubi. The last chakra beast living. The last Jinchuuruki on earth. Naruto is still alive. Itachi has clued himself into Madara's plan.

He has finally captured all that he needs, apart from the Kyuubi. All the preparations to carry out the mooneye plan are complete. He hears Naruto roar. Madara taunts him further, forcing the Kyuubi to come out. No longer has he any requirement for his tails. He can simply siphon off the chakra off the beast to create the ultimate chakra beast. Naruto does not see this part of his plan as Sasuke and Itachi do. He starts to bring forth the Nine-tails.

He muses why he has not still attacked and killed Itachi. He cannot bring himself to do so as he hears Madara reveal the full history of Konoha, and of Uchiha in response to Naruto's questions. He is glad, though, that even in such a situation where Madara is all poised to become the god of the world, he still resides in Naruto's thoughts.

Itachi is not guiltless. He did kill his clan members. But now, he can understand why. His quest for vengeance slowly dies down, as he realizes that Itachi did have a very important reason to kill off the Uchiha. But, now is not the time to figure out any method to destroy him. If Madara manages to make the Juubi, his quest would be meaningless-Itachi would be killed, but he would die as well. There would be no return for the Uchiha, which was never an option to be considered.

He still has his rage. But he no longer has that drive. Itachi's motives make sense after all; his brother was a pacifist through and through. But it does not excuse his killing. Itachi gently taps into his thought stream whispering –"Those I needed to kill were killed separately. Do you think that a mere stripling of 13 can wipe out an entire clan?" his eyes remain fixed on Madara throughout the whole thing. In a flash, Sasuke understands.

But there is no time to enact anything out. Naruto successfully manages to draw the Kyuubi out, only to fall prey to Madara's plan. It happens so fast that he cannot do anything to prevent it. They are left staring dumbly at the scene as Madara utilizes the chakra of the tailed beasts to forcibly pull the Kyuubi out of Naruto's body. Naruto's agonized scream resonates in the air, as the Juubi starts to form in front of their eyes. Naruto bucks helplessly, the Kyuubi form fading, and the boy paralysed, unaided to prevent the drain. The jutsu is too strong, and the trap immaculately laid. There is no escape.

Blue-black bonds wrap themselves around the Ten-tails, and start to bind it. The writhing accumulation growls and lashes in rage, powerless.

Madara's laugh of maniac glee fills the surroundings, and, he begins the formations of the seals that seal the Juubi in his body. Naruto or- rather Kyuubi notices the move. With a herculean effort, he projects himself in front of the snarling Juubi, a being of no form and colossal chakra mass, and interrupts the jutsu. Madara is thrown backwards; shocked at the reaction- he hadn't counted on Naruto being able to move in such conditions. But it is in such circumstances that Naruto derides all expectations and rules.

The interrupted jutsu is in its final stages. It has advanced to such a level that it can no longer be stopped. Naruto realises this, as the chakra bands restraining the Juubi look for a host, and shake the earth in the process. The power is too magnanimous to be restrained for long, and once the Juubi is set free, it will not be held back. Its ten tails whip, promising carnage and devastation. In the eyes of the demon, he sees the destruction of his world.

In a split second, Naruto makes his choice. He accepts the bonds and lets them mix into his chakra stream, accepting to be the host of the Ten-tails. The bands lift Naruto off the ground, and hold him at eye level to the mass and rip his clothes to shreds. They pour into his body from the seal, and Kyuubi and Juubi mash, to form the Ultimate beast.

A piercing shriek of horror, agony and fear is heard from below- Sakura and Tsunade, his companions, have been driven to hysteria. Sasuke recognizes why; Naruto's body is not prepared to host such massive, raw power. He will not survive. His actions might get rid of the Ten-tails, but at the cost of his life. The thought makes Sasuke scream as well, trying to stop him.

It might still be stopped.

The bands hold him high above the ground, wrapped around him, and the two chakras mixing at dangerous speeds. Naruto's eyes, dazed with pain and misery, alight upon him. he is left speechless for the brief instance when Naruto smiles, a genuine smile. His Sharingan eyes make out the words his lips form.

"_Sasuke"_ is all he says. Contentment washes on his features. There are a million words left unsaid, but Sasuke hears them all. Naruto's azure eyes close. There is a blinding flash as all the chakra of the beasts is poured into his body in an instant. The world is still for a moment, with Naruto's twitching body held aloft by the sheer power encased within him. And then… there is a darker, deeper flash of red. Naruto's body explodes into quantised fragments, so small that they are invisible to naked eye. The force inside him was too strong for his body to hold, and it gave way.

The fragments slowly reform on the ground, drawn to each other by chakra. Naruto's body gradually ameliorates, bleeding in several places. His eyes are closed and his heart has stopped beating. The fiend inside him is still.

Naruto is no more.

From his vintage point on the mountain, Sasuke screams himself hoarse in grief.

*---*

Sasuke stands in front of Naruto's grave in Konoha. They honour his wish to be buried next to his parents, in the village they loved.

He is given a fitting burial, for his sacrifice for their world. Everyone attends- even Madara, now a broken man. Sasuke simply stands there, stoic and unmoving. Naruto's death has killed him inside.

Nothing matters anymore to him. Not revenge, not coming back, nothing. His reason to go on has left him. And with that, his will to go on has left him as well.

Sasuke comes to the realization that in this lifetime; it wasn't reprisal that was his top priority. It was coming back home, to Naruto, victorious. It was proving to him that he could avenge his people. It was showing him that he was worth his Uchiha name.

It was all about Naruto. His subconscious had made his best friend, his rival, his teammate, and his secret love primary, above all that had occurred. With Naruto's passing away, his drive to kill Itachi was over.

Itachi didn't matter. Naruto did. And now he was gone.

This realization makes him breakdown for the first time in his life. Nothing said to him offers any consolation.

He has millions of words to say to him. To tell him that he loves him, to tell him that he is sorry. To tell him that it is Naruto that he thinks of all the time. It is…

Sasuke falls to his knees, diminished. Naruto…is not coming back. He's…dead. His entire task was in vain.

He shrieks and suppurates, rips the ground. People try to pull him away, but he stays fast. For once, he longs to see him again, to hold him again. For once, he wants to be weak and cry.

*---*

When Kakashi reaches the place to pay respects to his pupil, and silently adopted son, he finds no one there. They have all come, shed a tear and left. Life has moved on for them, but not for the village that was once his home. He knows that people come there daily, to repent for their wrongs against him. It is a bitter penitence, caused by a bitter separation. Naruto's love has humbled them all.

He has no feelings left in him. There is nothing that can express his pain. All has been said at his funeral.

He quietly places the sunflower bouquet he brings with him on his student's grave. It reminds him of the boy, always laughing with vitality. As he places the flowers, he feels his hand brush against an envelope. He picks it up; it's from Sasuke, addressed to Naruto. He opens it, feeling that Naruto wants him to read it aloud for him. The winds around the cheery blossom trees growing next to his grave grows stronger. The petals wither.

"_Naruto. _

_You are a stupid, stupid dobe, you realise that? Do you even know the enormity of your actions? What they do to us? _

_You once yelled at me for proceeding on my revenge. You tried to dissuade me. Now, dobe, what are you doing? Aren't you taking revenge on all of us? I came back, gave it up. Can you come back? _

_I never got to say many things, and they are so numerous that I will run out of paper than I will of words to say. Naruto, you know…there is nothing I have regretted more than leaving you, leaving Konoha behind. Konoha is fine. But you? you are my link to my world. I have never repented anything as I have done this." _

The next words are blurry with tears and shaking handwriting.

"_Naruto…I am so sorry. Nothing can excuse me, nor can I expect any. But I am. I hope you at least understand it. I do not merit your forgiveness, but I'll try my best to be worth it. It's all you've ever wanted me to do, right?_

_I cannot go back to Konoha. I would have if…you were there, but now that you are not, my reason to return there is over. I cannot go back to a place, which isn't home. For me, home was where you were happy. But I'll come to visit. As often as I can. _

_I care for you, Naruto, more than I care for anyone here – alive. But I can't tell you that anymore. You aren't here to hear my words. I'll have to wait until such a time when I can cross the twilight zone to join you at the other side._

_I know, it feels like I'm making more demands at your expense. But I need to. This assurance is going to be what will make me carry on henceforth in life – a chance to see you again._

_Will you wait for me to join you, Naruto?_

Kakashi looks up, startled at the figure in front of him. It is Naruto, and it is not. It is a spirit, a figure, composed of the pink petals cascading from the cheery trees. He blinks, taken aback in shock. The spirit form solidifies, and traces of his, big foxy grin can be seen on the flowery face.

He hears his faint, but lucid voice. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei." His tone carries regret, but not much. He knows Kakashi doesn't blame him for what transpired; only wishes that he got to see him for one last time. Naruto's faint smile grows sad. But he has little time. He hopes that his tone conveys his feelings to his teacher. It does.

"Tell teme that I'll wait for him at the bridge."

Kakashi nods, registering the message. He lingers there, a soft smile on his face.

The figure dissipates in the wind, the pink petals floating their way gently on to Konoha.


End file.
